Sunday, February 09, 2020
Anecdote Disclosed @ 1:11 pm

Hey there, old friend.

It’s been a long time coming over here. 
Today would have supposedly been our little ‘happy’ 9th of the year, again.
11 years. We were to wed on our 11th year, F.

But you let US go. You wanted me to go. 

I’ve loved you too hard, too fervently, to ever let you go. 

Thursday, March 06, 2014
Anecdote Disclosed @ 4:26 pm

Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Anecdote Disclosed @ 2:48 am

I often find myself struggling with the notion of close relationships, and while I've come to terms with the fact that they're not unhealthy, in fact necessary, it's scary to consider possible "what ifs". I struggle with the combination of being too loving and at the same time being too withdrawn. Almost like I crave the option of being vulnerable but I'm terrified of getting hurt. So in response, I am on the side of just never opening up to anyone so I don't get hurt.
Which kind of just leaves me isolated and bitter.

Oh, hey there March. I didn't see you there.

Friday, February 21, 2014
Anecdote Disclosed @ 4:31 am

So after what has been a whole 2 years (not quite but yeah) of being on a loooong hiatus and practically neglecting this journal to ruins, something in me made me want to resurface.
So taaaa-dah!


Funny how it struck me that my last dated post was from two years ago AFTER HAVING gone missing for 2 YEARS too!! Sheesh, its been a recurring habit of going away within an identical stretched time frame. Yeah yeah my bad again. Apparently life takes you away and constantly keeps you on your toes that you barely have time to examine your own actions - what more being behind a laptop screen blogging which I used to do so regularly in secondary school. OK HERE GOES!!
A rundown about the Where(s), When(s) & What(s) of the current ME:

• I had successfully and desirably graduated with a Higher Nitec certificate in Business Studies (Event Management) on the 15th of May 2013 at College Central AMK.
  My most rewarding achievement thus far with a graduating GPA of 4.0 and cumulative score of 3.4. Class of 2011.
  The highs & lows of my life were during these 2 years and I never regretted ever stepping into ITE and the tight friendships I've built up to date. ❤
  
  
• April 2013: Enrolled into Temasek Polytechnic. (was my 3rd choice but it was for the best and had no regrets) Pursued the Business Studies Grouping programme - a common fundamentals course in Year 1 which will allow me to select my choice diploma that I would want to major in Year 2.
  
  
• And yes Year 1 is drawing to a close and I've made my diploma selection.
  Diploma in Marketing. Wish me nothing but the best yeah?
  
  
• Belonged to Kres!dancers since November 2012.
  Loved the family ever since and I thank my first ever dance instructor, Abang Azhar, for bringing me into the group. Under his strict tutelage and devotion, I flourished.
  I would never have gotten far if it weren't for his guidance and with the opportunities offered. I am highly inactive now due to school commitments, I wish I'd meet them all again soon! Currently am intensively involved with SNT, [Si Anak Tari] a dance interest group under Temasek poly. So yes my commitment shifted for the time being. There's a production lined up in May that we are so caught up preparing for!
  
  
• My last dated entry you see me with a mane of curls. Sadly I've not been maintaining and taking proper care of my locks so yeah after 2 years it isn't the way it looked anymore :( Loved my curls really. I just got lazy. Don't be surprised if the next image I upload would be me with very short hair!
  
  
• If you're wondering when I'm gonna begin gushing about my love life - don't .
  For all you avid and loyal readers of my blog, (i doubt they still hang around here anymore, probably moved on somewhere else more worthwhile HAHA) they would have noticed that the previous boyfriend of 2++ years I was once with, well. I have nothing to say alright. No words could ever comprehend the mess, the situation, the conclusion. We were, as I would put it, simply gone with the wind, just like how our love did. The forged bond and incredibly amazing moments, my strength, my heartwarming comfort, my buddy cum best friend, my pursuit of happiness, the irreplaceable feelings and affection - wilted so easily like nothing ever mattered between us.
  For wherever you might have placed that 3-pages worth of emotional outcry contained within a letter, that will be whatever I'd have to say to you all over again.
  But thank you, F. You probably already knew I was not worth your time at all.
  
  
• I've tried and I've tried and believe me when I said I'm trying my best to not be stuck anymore. I've dated guys, been in and out of unfortunate situations. But the puzzle never really got solved or fixed delicately in place as I pictured it to be.
  The problem? Me.
  I thank you guys for sticking it out for me and being by my side. I certainly learnt so much and it had been an eye-opening experience indeed. But all I ever needed was time, and probably a lot more until I get better where the heart is concerned. I may not have holes in my jeans but I do have plenty all over my heart where love once resided. Call me difficult, but that's just what it is.
  
  
• If you must know yes my pussycat is still alive, my dear beloved feline. I believed she has reached a ripe adult age of urm, 11 cat years!! She is fit and healthy I must say :)
  
  
• The BabyGs and I had insanely drifted apart individually and as a whole and it seems like our tight friendship is going through that phase in life whereby its at the make-it-or-break-it stage. We'll pull through definitely, its just that at the moment we've lost our touch with one another and take each other for granted. But when we start conversing with each other its like nothing's changed and that's what counts. Karimah was blessed with a beautiful baby boy on the 28th of December last year and all praises to Allah SWT for ensuring a safe and smooth delivery for both mother and child. The precious boy is turning a full 2 months soon and I'm excited to see him sometime in March!
  
  
• My best friend, Dzul and I, we've been keeping our close relationship running and alive for what has been almost 9 years, God Bless! This prick has been continuously by my side for the past few years (it was 3 years ago when he resurfaced after yeah, not being attached to his last girlfriend anymore) and I appreciate all the time and effort he had put in for us. So what I figured wouldn't survive, we managed to salvage. ❤ Love him for that. I get real defensive and protective over that fella, I never wanna see him broken or being made used of. I get agitated when he's upset and feeling all negative. So despite our childishness and fooling around, his welfare matters so much to me. He may not know this but all I want is to see him happy, and with the right company. Thanks to him as well I was introduced to his awesomazing group of guys. Certainly a joy to be around Dzul and his kick-ass homies, to which I regard as my own too. Love every one of them to bits. Never have I not smiled and laughed when I'm surrounded by that bunch.
  
  
• Having met Amirah Mokhlis back in Bishan ITE before College Central was formed, I never expected us to be anything more than dancemates through our CCA. But little did I know she'd be the backbone and source of motivation dancing alongside me. She was the driving force that propelled me forward when I thought so lowly of myself. We'd unknowingly hang out so often and we'd dance our mind out til way past midnight somewhere in the heart of Tampines in an effort to correct AND perfect my movements and execution of steps. Yes, if it wasn't for her all along I wouldn't have any other reason to continue doing what I do. No one gets any sweeter and crazier than her - entertaining my strange ways, my emotional episodes, my deranged and confusing emotions, my messed up matters of the heart, my random food cravings and hunting for food. She'd go the ends of the globe for me. I'll never forsake her and no amount of gratitude in me could make up for everything she has done. There's so many things I wish I could do to repay you. And for that I thank you Booboo.   ❤
  
  
• My parents are in the same old, same old state from when I have previously mentioned 2 years back. They're somewhat I'd say separated - married on paper but separated physically. No complex court orders, divorce papers of whatever sorts. I believe they rather be spared from all that. So yes, we're all living under one roof still - alhamdullilah for my brothers and I. But you'd never imagine how difficult and awkward it gets from time to time. Yes, all these years. But I deal with it somehow.

Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Anecdote Disclosed @ 11:56 pm

Yes hello.
Behold my crowning glory, hehe. Tresses are here to stay on me head. i've had straight silky hair for 6-7 years so far! but boy this hairdo requires high maintenance. grr.
Excuse the horrendous and wacky images taken at such odd hours. Apparently it only occurs when boredom sinks in.

OH OH.
Vacation's finally hereeeeee whoop whoop! ^^
Although it'll only stretch for 3 weeks. Better than nothing.
But that does not indicate that I will be fully liberal, having all the time in the world to spare.
Yes school is done with for the meantime but that also means... BACK TO WORK -. -"
The never-ending thoughts of having to earn my own keep and supporting my own expenses.
But hey I ain't complaining. Thank God I have a Dad that still pays my bill; he insists to continue doing so as long as we're still living under the same roof. Well that's an advantage on my part. Will be juggling 2 jobs for the month - unsure for how long I'll be able to shuffle between the two. God willing, I'll be able to handle the taxing workload I would have to undertake.

I doubt a soul reads my Blogspot anymore eversince my 2-year long hiatus :(
My bad!