Saturday, May 17, 2008
Anecdote Disclosed @ 8:20 pm

The idle day back and forth I drag my butt to those lofty lessons in class.
I slug all out trying to understand and relate to those subjects.
As the unrelenting insults are thrown,I shatter.
I sit alone full of that distaste and anger.
Disappointment in oneself is already a hefty punishment.
Saddened by those atrocious results, disappointment penetrate deep within. ]]]]]]]]'=
Let's fuck the world upside-down shall we?
Nothing is ever fair. I've given my all, though I have to admit it wasn't really my best but I've tried. I confess to being complacent and I didn't mug to a huge extent. ):
And soon, I'll be slammed with the N'level prelims. Doomed? *sighs*
Never in my secondary years have I failed COMBINED HUMANITIES & COMBINED SCIENCE. Humanities has always been in my favour; I have always been playing on the safe side for Science. For Humanities, I obtained a depressing 48 marks overall. And 46 for Science.
Like ZOMG, I could have aced them!!! I expected an excellent grade for humanities as I mugged so hard for them. ): Upsettingly, I flunked them. For the FIRST TIME!
And all because I didn't manage to complete my source-based questions; whereby Mr Yang claimed I was so terrific in. ))):
He said, "If only you had time to answer the last question, you could have passed humanities overall,"
For Chemistry I was utterly shocked at my hideous marks. 20/50????!!!! MIRA!
Chemistry could have been a breeeeeze for me if ONLY i hadn't erased those answers on the OTAS sheet and replacing them with another option!!!!!!!
Let's not discuss MATHS. I have blacklisted that subject eversince young.
I hold a large amount of abhorrence for it. And Insyallah I'll be taking up tuition soon.
I aced the rest of my subjects but they weren't up to my standards you see.
I could have gotten a distinction for ENGLISH if only I added more effort, which I did. -____-''
I could have gotten a distinction for POA and Mother Tongue too if I wasn't soooo CARELESS!!!!! Grrrrrrr.
In the meantime, I am so sorry By, for ignoring your presence and venting my anger on you.
I was not in the mood and I didn't want to turn to anyone during the time. I needed time alone to reflect. Now, By is in Malaysia and I can't afford to text much as my bill's dragged to the maximum stage. ]]]: I miss By sooo much. And I love you too...!
I'm still not ready to move on in our relationship. I need time. I'm so sorry Ayang.......

Labels: I'm completely ANXIOUS and FEARFUL to face my N'levels. HELP.