Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Anecdote Disclosed @ 2:07 am

To my dearest ex-boyfriend,
I just don't love you no more. I've had enough of our squabbles and never-ending disputes. We might forgive each other one day, but start arguing the next. I figured we were a fairytale derived out of storybooks. I figured ours was made to last. But no. Mummy initially wanted us to go into marriage in future but things change and you ain't a constant image in my heart and mind anymore. And I'm fortunate that we wouldn't have to go that far into our lives 'cause things would come to a sorry end. I have never been very good at identifying matters that are worth starting over or those worth discarding, probably because you and I haven't been having a stable grown-up relationship. All of our post-breakup communication had been conducted by harsh messages and screaming through the phone at top volume. But I have made up my mind and the decision has been made. We're just not cut out for each other, memories of you are beginning to fade. Our hearts aren't one anymore, the key's been found, our hearts unlocked and separated. I NEVER thought this would become of us. I figured you were the one I'd devote my entire life to. I figured we'd be able to create a life for ourselves in future. But I guess things between us aren't forever embedded. So this is good bye, we might still be friends, maybe? But all I know now, is that you weren't and never were to be my baby. It's too late, you took it too far. Now that I'm gone, no matter how sorry you are, you won't be able to win me back. So I'll keep telling myself that I don't need you, that one day I'll wake up dreaming of someone new. I won't think of you anymore cause now I'll shut, close and lock the door. I'll stop waiting by the phone, hoping now that thoughts of you will leave me alone.

I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul, and I gave to you all the love that I hold within me.
I gave you my laughter; I opened my heart and let you know my fears and weaknesses.
If I could love you forever, that wouldn't be long enough. I shared with you my tears; I gave you my arms with which to hold you when you were feeling down. All these things I gave to you freely and willingly, because of my love for you I held on and believed.
But I know now that I have to forget you, because of the way you affect my everyday life. I know that I have to quit hoping that I will ever run back into your arms like before cause I don't want to wake up anymore, in the middle of the night, thinking about you and not being able to get back to sleep. I can't erase what I've previously felt for you but I believe time will mend your broken heart and mine as well. Love can bring you to heights unimaginable, or it can slam you so hard that you think even living isn't important anymore.
Real love is not worth losing. It's knowing that all the trials and tribulations just makes the both of us stronger. But I guess, ours wasn't made to last. And I'm sorry. I'm doing us both a favour.
I'm doing this so as not to hurt you and hurt me as well. I'm doing this as to secure you a better life and of a new love in future. I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself. Not to prove that you're worthy for me, but to show the entire world that you can do it without me.
Cause I sure can now. I ain't wailing and bantering on the phone anymore. I ain't locking myself up in my room drowned in my own pool of tears. I ain't having sleepless nights with thoughts of you confined in my head. Yes, I've moved on. And you should too.