Sunday, November 09, 2008
Anecdote Disclosed @ 7:18 pm "Love Me, Leave Me"- Kat Deluna The very first day of my life, Was the day that you let me go, It was a blessing in disguise. Now I see that I'm beautiful. Cause all we ever did was fight. We were so dysfunctional. Now I forgotten all the times, And all the days that I was loving you.. Just like a ghost from my past, (he's come back to haunt me) Saying that you want me back. (look at its impossible so...) Love me, leave me, Cause I've already closed that door. Don't want to be in the pain I felt before. If I only could be myself, Without your approval anymore. (if you love me leave me) If you love me leave me alone. Now there used to be a time, I would've taken you back again. Now I got you out of my mind, And I'm totally independent, So you can save your little lies Cause I know whats happenin' You're missin' me but say goodbye now, To all the days I was lovin' you. If you really wanna help, Then you should go, Cause I promised myself I'd make it alone, At the back of the shelf. Cause it's where I'm gonna put what we had I'm never going back, no. . ((((': Yes, we're friends. But please, get lost. . )': Its for my own good. Its already pressurizing and painful enough to have you calling me up to tell me your current 'girl' problem. I'm sorry too for screaming at you during our phone conversation. You're downright stubborn AND ridiculous, you know that? You've not changed haven't you.. I've stopped living my life YOUR way. So thumbs up for me yeah? I'm hoping and praying hard that I won't be seeing you or HER around. Or BOTH of you. Cause you'll just bring me down and have my mood swing from one end to another. Time is all it takes for me to get through this. I believe I can get over this never-ending emotional crisis soon. The heart's been going through its healing process, but it has yet to fully recover. I ain't jealous, OH PLEASEEEE. The fact that you've made the wrong choice bothers me right down to the core. Yes. I'm venting my emotions once again in my blog, and PLEASEEEEE, you have absolutely no RIGHT, to stop me or even TELL ME NOT TO POST AN ENTRY about you. I shall have my say, my way. And this is it. I've removed you from my list of Friendster contacts cause I figured its the right thing to do. I was bold enough to do so, without tearing up. I'm so sorrryyyy. I don't feel a thing for you anymore, but at this stage, you've been haunting me with our past memories. Time may heal my heart some day; but then again, who can tell ? (': I find that it's time to live my life and strive for my own happiness. I shall have to confront all these demons that took me so long to address. Now I see the light and I finally realise, what it's like to move ahead and let my pointless past go.. Indeed the past's a bittersweet roller-coaster ride, I HAVE to admit. But this one-way emotional train track, will only spiral me into further turmoil and rage. For one last time I drift upon our memories. It's hard to come to terms with inevitable facts that life has presented and the overwhelming sense of mystery it holds. The dreams have lasted long enough and my doubt no longer ails me. So as I think of the time spent together I sigh and say, "It was all worth my time in the past, yes, I did treasure every single moment spent. But alas, fate tore us apart," Who would've known that we'd come so far ? Yet, I will never utter that we were worth nothing. It's funny how fate seemed to give me the type of relationship I desired. But then I see it crumble due to his repeated mistakes and my insistent pleas and obligations. I feel it finally slip away, receiving the closure that I so deserve. And now I sit here days and weeks after this mess and realize that I've learned so much from him. He showed me things about myself that I wouldn't have otherwise known. I finally run these words through my brain 'IT'S OVER, IT'S ALL OVER'. I finally stand from the bed I was on. I'm gonna embrace life with what I've got now and no, I'm not gonna let my happiness come by and let it slip away again. I've got to learn to influence my heart & mind and tell them that things don't cling on my side of the cliff forever. They'll loosen their grip and be gone without me knowing . . And I finally see the truth; a hero lies in you.. (': |
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